Freedom

See this smile? I haven’t smiled this big in a long time. When you have an eating disorder, anxiety, depression, or any kind of mental health illness, life is debilitating. You just have no energy. Everything is harder. There were days where I couldn’t even muster up enough strength to brush my teeth. That’s just TWO MINUTES of my day that I couldn’t handle. Can you imagine school, social life, sports, etc??? Impossible.

Now that I’m in recovery and my bad days are less and less, my energy is more and more and my smile comes out more and more. Life is better. Life is worth living. Recovery gives you what you’ve always dreamed of and more. It gives you your life back. This is freedom.

I was talking to my dietitian yesterday. Somehow we started talking about under-aged teenagers drinking alcohol. I told her she would never find me drinking. “That would just interfere with my sport. Why would I want to do that to my body?” Both of our eyes lit up. LIGHT BULB!!! My response to this situation can apply to SO many different life situations. Eating disorder… That would just interfere with my life. Why would I do that to my body? Self-harm… That would just interfere with my life. Why would I do that to my body? Ruminating on the past or anxiously awaiting the future… That would just interfere with my life. Why would I want to do that to my mind and body?

I’m not saying these illnesses are just easy to brush off. They’re not. They take time and lots of work and energy and even medicine in some cases. But it is possible. It is possible to recover, conquer, and overcome. I believe in you. I believe in myself.

What is interfering with your life that you could work to recover from? What are you doing to your mind and/or body that you could find freedom from? Ask yourselves these two questions. Today, for me, my answer to these questions is this… my fear of food, my anxiety, and my depression is interfering with my life and is hurting my mind and body. I can find freedom by focusing on the truth. For me, this is my relationship with the Lord and my worth in Him. What is your truth? Is it that food is NOT the enemy? Is it that the moments of anxiety will pass? Is it that emotions come and go? Is it that you’re worthy, beautiful, strong, prepared, determined, growing, brave, becoming? What is it?

You CAN find freedom. I thought I would never find freedom. And now I’m smiling big. Now I feel like I’m getting my life back. Yes, I still have bad days. But my good days and moments are more and more!!

“That would just interfere with my life. Why would I want to do that to my body?”

Use this quote for good today. You CAN do it. Reach out for support if you need it!!

And remember this… You are loved. You are worthy. You are capable.

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