Perfection

“Now, most people would not be willing to die for an upright person, though someone might perhaps be willing to die for a person who is especially good. But God showed his great love for us by sending Christ to die for us while we were still sinners.“

Romans 5:7-8

If I’m being completely honest, a lot of my recovery included a chase after perfection. And this desire to be perfect, it only led me to independence… Independence that is really dependence on the world and not on Jesus. This dependence on the world, it led me further and further from my Father, therefore, it led me further and further from recovery and healing.

This most recent season of life the Lord has so faithfully allowed me to walk through has led me away from perfection and to my Father.

So what was this most recent season of life, you ask? Well… It included relapse and it included treatment. I’ve been afraid to blog about my relapse out of fear that I would be failing y’all… But I’ve learned that we are NOT perfect humans, recovery is not linear, and vulnerability breeds connection.

So, my friends, yes… I relapsed. I went back to treatment, this time at Alsana in Alabama. I am not perfect… But that has brought me SO much peace because no one is perfect… Only my Jesus is perfect. We can rest in this truth.

Romans 5:7-8 tells us that the One who walked this earth perfectly, well, He died for us so that we could live and thrive and heal and spend Eternity with our Father in Heaven. While we were still sinners, Christ died for us. He died for me. He died for YOU.

Because Jesus died for me, I can rest. I no longer have to chase perfection because the victory on the cross came with an abundance of grace and mercy and love and goodness… Grace, mercy, love, and goodness for you and for me. Yes, I want to walk away from sin… But there is no such thing as striving with my Father, just abiding with my Father.

Treatment at Alsana created a safe space for me to surrender my health and recovery to Christ once again. It gave me time to sit still and allow the Lord to fight on my behalf. It gave me the opportunity to step away from the world and bask in the grace and compassion the Lord has for me as I struggled to let go and let God work.

My time in Alabama has taught me so much more about who Jesus is and why He died on the cross for me. He died so that I may walk in freedom and healing. He died so that I may abide in Him and not strive to be perfect for Him. He died so that I may rest and be confident in the truth that I am His beloved Daughter.

Sons and Daughters, stop striving for perfection. It’s impossible. And striving only takes away from our ability and freedom to idle in the love of the Lord. Take a minute today to sit and be still. For when we are still, the Lord will fight for us (Exodus 14:14).

This most recent season of life the Lord has so faithfully allowed me to walk through has led me away from perfection and to my Father.