Happy New Year, friends!!! Wow, what a year 2021 was. A year of great joy and a year of great hardship. A year of abundance and a year of growth. A year of learning and a year of falling into a deeper love with my Savior.
Those of you who know I went through relapse may be asking why I describe my year with words like “great” and “abundance” and “growth…” It all has to do with perspective. Yes, 2021 was HARD. But the Lord has given me a new lens… a lens that allows me to see my pain and suffering as a season of life that the Lord was using to purify my heart to be more like Jesus.
Going into 2021, I planned to graduate, go to college, and live this life that I felt was expected of me. The Lord had different plans… plans that were much greater than I could have ever dreamed. In the midst of His plans, I did not have the perspective I have today. I was hurting and in pain and I couldn’t see a way out of the darkness. But I took a step back. And then I could really see… I could see that Jesus, as the Light of the world, was illuminating the path before me. There WAS a way out.
So I ran with Him.
Let’s backtrack… I left for college at Baylor University towards the end of August of 2021. I was ecstatic and ready to be in Waco with my Spirit-filled friends. Little did I know, the Lord would not keep me at Baylor for long. The struggle with the eating disorder, anxiety, and depression got worse and worse and led to withdrawal from school to pursue healing and recovery.
But, before withdrawing from Baylor, I was hearing the Lord speak directly into my heart about what He wanted for my future. My Father has given me a heart for ministry and sharing the gospel, and I knew this was playing a role in where He wanted to take me. He was kindly but firmly telling me to “Go…” I prayed hard for the Lord to show me where and when and how He wanted me to go… And as I simultaneously fought against the enemy to get healthy, I knew in my Spirit that I needed to go… away from college for a time, and to Alabama… The state in which I would be in treatment.
This decision to pursue recovery in Alabama was a simple but difficult “yes,” but one made with peace at the center, knowing God was taking charge and moving mountains on my behalf.
The season of life in Birmingham was tough but so sweet… A season full of joy with Jesus. And how cool is it that we know each next season of life with Jesus will be even better than the one before?! He is just so faithful to love His children and keep His promise in Jeremiah 29:11… A promise that our future will be for our GOOD!!! In Alabama, the Lord gifted me people who became family; provided me a unique platform to bring others the Joy of the Lord; and handed me a better, more in depth understanding of who HE is.
As Satan attacked my being through my mental health, I learned how to lather myself in the Blood of Jesus, and dress in the Armor of God… Preparing for spiritual warfare. That is what this battle with eating, anxiety, and depression really is… Spiritual warfare. I also learned that my Father is Mighty to save. And He has never left my side. Not once.
As I began to walk in the healing that Jesus died to give me, I began to pray about what the Lord wanted my next steps of life to look like. As I was praying for guidance, my phone rang… It just so happened to be my mentor, Holly Scurry.
For those of you who don’t know Holly, she is a MIGHTY woman of God. Holly co-founded Family Legacy, a nonprofit organization committed to making a difference in the lives of orphaned and vulnerable children in Lusaka, Zambia through a Christian education. Holly’s second God-given assignment led her to Matthew 10 International, a nonprofit that brings the gospel to the darkest places on earth. Holly also built a local ministry in Dallas, Texas called Ascent Mentors. Ascent is for high school girls in the Park Cities, pairing them with a post-graduate mentor who loves Jesus. These one on one relationships are meant to walk the high school girls through life and closer to Jesus.
Holly and I kept in touch the whole time I was in treatment in Alabama. As we prayed and talked over the phone, I knew with confidence that I was being called back to Texas. When Holly offered me an internship to work with her at Matthew 10 International and Ascent Mentors, the calling to Texas that I was feeling was confirmed. God quickly began opening doors and I was back home in Dallas within a week.
Last Monday marked my first official day of serving the Lord with Matthew 10 International and Ascent Mentors Ministry. I am humbled, honored, and extremely blessed to be able to work within these ministries. The Lord has already worked great wonders and blessings through this new season of my life. He has brought me to a place of extreme peace and joy. On Monday, my very first day, I experienced healing in a way I have never experienced before. I firmly believe that Jesus is moving mountains in my life, and I wouldn’t have this perspective if it weren’t for the trail and tribulation He allowed me to walk through.
What is Matthew 10 International?
At Matthew 10, we are on a mission to preach Jesus, teach Jesus, and live Jesus as we take His Name to some of the darkest places on the earth! Dr. Pete Sulack is an evangelist who has been around the world 25 times, preaching the Name of Jesus. Since Covid hit, Matthew 10 has been raising teams worldwide to bring in harvests of lost souls as Dr. Pete has preached 217 Virtual Gospel Crusades to over 500,000 previously lost souls who are now children of God. By God’s grace, we have placed over 100,000 Bibles in new believers’ hands and have planted over 1,000 new home churches in Pakistan, India, Zambia, Botswana, Malawi, Tanzania, and Ghana!!!
On the Monday that the Lord showed me healing in ways I had never witnessed before, something finally clicked in my mind…
“My old identity has been co-crucified with Christ and no longer lives. And now the essence of this new life is no longer mine, for the Anointed One lives his life through me—we live in union as one! My new life is empowered by the faith of the Son of God who loves me so much that he gave himself for me, dispensing his life into mine!” Galatians 2:20
My past… the eating disorder, the anxiety, the depression… is NOT my identity, nor is it my reality any longer. I get to walk in new life that my Savior died to give me. Walking in my new reality of healing does not mean life is not hard. The enemy came to steal, kill, and destroy, and he will not stop doing so. BUT, Jesus came that we may have life… life more abundantly (John 10:10). Let that sink in.
My friends struggling with life, know that you CAN walk in NEW life. Know that there IS a Savior who died for you to have HEALING. And know that you are NOT alone.
I am here to talk, to listen, to encourage, to pray. You know my number… I’m just a call or a text away. Sending you all my love.